Jack Wills @ Tantra, London

22.12.2005

I was told to arrive at 9:30 by the promoter, due to this being a hugely busy night. I arrived at 9:35 and the queue had about 150-200 people in it already. The queue wasn't moving either. I went and chatted to the bouncers about how I was reviewing the night and was told promptly to get to the back of the line. Not appreciating their cold attitude, I returned soon to find out that the club didn't actually open until 10, and was told by the bouncers that I should come back at 11. Already not particularly impressed, I made a tactical decision to go to the pub for half an hour.

On returning I was not amazed to see the queue larger and angrier than before. Two guys with clipboards seemed my best bet to get in. Having evaded the bouncers I had to shout to get the promoters' attention. Once this had been gained I was in, although the promoter was as unfriendly as the bouncers. Also a friend of mine got her purse stolen in the queue. Not too impressive.

The club as a venue is posh. It's all white, everywhere (except the black marble urinals). The staff are all dressed in white, it's quite weird, but looks safe; once you are in the club, they are very friendly. There are beds to sit on in the corners, which can be booked for about £500. Otherwise tables dotted around a central dance floor are where you will reside. The dance floor itself is under-lit, and looks like it has been for at least 30 years with the amount of cracks in it. All this makes the club unusual from an atmosphere perspective. The VIP lounge is large, with separate bar and lockable private rooms.

Your night at Tantra will never be cheap, from the drinks menu: a bottle of wine will cost £75 minimum. On a usual night you don't seem to be able to buy, say a vodka coke, but must buy bottles of vodka for £165 - £500 which includes mixers and some geezer to make whatever the hell you want with it. This night seemed to allow, contradictory to the menu, specific drinks to be made at the bar. This will cost you £8.50 for a gin and tonic. Entry was £10 on guest list; I didn't find anyone who was not on the guest list to ask them how much they paid. The most entertaining thing of the night was the price of the bottle of Mathusalem Cristal 1990 Champagne for £15,500.

The night was sponsored by the up and coming clothes brand Jack Wills. The people who provided guest lists proclaimed how everyone would get a Jack Wills goody bag at the end of the night. This did not materialize, only the guest list providers got there hands on free gear. The people who were at this event were all from the ages of 16 to 22 (little did the bouncers know, or check). It was a distinctly public school crowd, with everyone seeming to know everyone else.

The music started with some funky St. Tropez style house, which really suited the club, but degenerated quickly into very commercial chart R'n'B / Hip-Hop, there is nothing more I can say apart from the DJ was decent at mixing the Hip-Hop, but not exceptional. The dance floor was packed; there was no room to move at all. For an 800 capacity club, it must have had at least 750 people there. An area of the club was cordoned off, which would have taken the stress away from the dance floor, had it been opened. A mistake in my view.

Music lovers be warned, this isn't the place for you. If you want to go and flash the cash, try to spot celebs, and spend too much money on maintaining your image, then this party would have been great. To be honest I wasn't and didn't enjoy it at all.

Pro's:
Nice looking club
Friendly staff

Con's:
Rude and unfriendly bouncers
Expensive
Comically chart-orientated music
Pretentious
Promises of freebies were lies

No photography permitted at the event.

Review by DJ Rescue